Lines That I Couldn't Change
by tinylittlelouie
Summary: In which Noah Puckerman isn't as strong as everyone judges so, and on a situation of sensibility, he's caught by a girl he swore he wouldn't heart no more.


**Disclaimer: **do not own

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><p><em>In my place, in my place<em>_  
><em>_Were lines that I couldn't change__  
><em>_I was lost, oh yeah__  
><em>_I was lost, I was lost__  
><em>_Crossed lines I shouldn't have crossed__  
><em>_I was lost, oh yeah_

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><p>At his eyes, a public park wasn't really the best place to think things off, but he has no car since he busted off that store and it's the nearest place from Shelby's house at one of the Lima's fancy neighborhoods. He doesn't feel like going home, or grabbing a burger, or neither staying on the streets, but he's so fucked up he can't think of a reason why he should walk over to his place, only to enter his bedroom, close the door and sob onto his empty pillow.<p>

He's Noah Puckerman, and it's not just something he does.

So he stays on the park instead. He knows it's a cliché and stuff, but the night seemed to shine brighter, and the stars all smiled at him, as if they were crowning the day. They all sung the same song, humming her name softly, pleasing his ears and bringing tears to his eyes.

It's around nine o'clock when she shows up. He's surprised, at first, 'cause looking at his phone he realizes he has been there since seven, sitting on the bench, and just thinking things off. Plus, Rachel Berry doesn't appear on random parks very often.

And when she does, she's obviously humming some random song he doesn't know the name. She sits beside him, and doesn't say a word for a while. He looks at her, really looks at her, and her eyes are glistened with fear, passion, or pity, he can't tell. The touch of her fingertips against his scalp burns.

"What are you doing here?" He asks, finally. It's a cliché question. It's a cliché situation. It shouldn't be happening.

Her answer's not a cliché, though. And he should expect that, since she's Rachel Berry.

"I was looking for you." She tells him, and his heart aches a little bit, 'cause yeah, nobody's ever looking for him.

"How –

"Shelby called."

Before he can think of a proper question, such as why the fuck would you do anything your stupid and selfish mom would ask, she sighs happily, yet sadly, something only Rachel Berry can do, showing to exact emotions at the same time in an adorable, yet heartbreaking way. Maybe that's why she's better than anyone else. Or maybe it's just because she has a lion heart and everything. He always wondered what the fuck that meant anyway.

"Wanna know what she told me?" She asks him shyly, and he nods.

He shrugs, and he wants to be gentle, but at the moment, his feelings are numb.

"She told me to take care of you." Rachel sighs again, caressing his hair softly, and it's been long, _so _long anyone had taken such good care of him.

He ignores her, 'cause there's no way Rachel, or anyone, was going to really take care of him, but he figures at some point, he has to say something.

"I saw her." He says.

"I know." Rachel nods.

"She's beautiful."

"Must be." She smiles, looking at the starts with him, and snuggling herself onto her blue wooden jacket. Her eyelids are so long, and her eyes so shiny, her hair so long, she looks like a goddamn princess.

Somehow, he figures he should tell her in every small detail how perfect his daughter is, and how much he loves her, and how much he hates Quinn from taking her away from him, from taking away every single right he had to at least try and be a good parent, or even a good friend, or a good distant uncle, and how would he do anything to get that chance back, since he'd already missed a year of her life.

But it's not like that, and Rachel doesn't deserve any of that crap, especially since talking about Beth was basically shoving into her mouth that even her own mom chose Quinn instead of her. Rachel's just one of those girls, and he was not going to risk it. She'd done too much for him, already.

"You shouldn't be here." Look, a cliché, again. "Go. I'm fine."

He knows it's a lie, she knows it's a lie, everyone knows it's a lie, but she ignores him.

"Would you like to know why I came?" Rachel whispers, and he's one hundred per cent sure she can read minds. And maybe she can. She'd always been the crazy sort of chick, not that he was complaining.

She sighs when he's silent. "I came because, somehow, I think there'll always be a part of me loving you." She admits.

Not a single question is made. Not from him, not from her. He's surprised, but at the same time, he's not, since it's goddamn true. He shouldn't be thinking about her, he knows he shouldn't, she's happy, he's trying to make himself good again, but it's true, and it's always been. There's a part of him who would always love her as well, and he doesn't even regret it. Maybe, if everything had happened with them instead of with Finn or Quinn, he'd have a daughter by now, or a girl who actually loved him. But, hell, he can't think like that. She's happy. He can't take that away from her, not again.

She leaves, whispering a _take care_ while kissing his temple; stars still singing, invisible raindrops on their heads.

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><p><em>I was scared, I was scared<em>_  
><em>_Tired and underprepared__  
><em>_But I waited for it__  
><em>_If you go, if you go__  
><em>_Then Leave me down here on my own__  
><em>_Then I'll wait for you, yeah_


End file.
